..well how about learning 2 look last layer instead of 4. Your F2L isn't exactly good but at least you can get 60ish move count solves if you learn 2look last layer. (I didn't go through your example solve, but heres how I would do it)
scramble: F U' R2 D2 B2 D L2 R' F U F2 U D' F' R' F' L2 D B' F U' R' B R F
z2 y (this cross sucks) L F2 D' F R D2 (6)
U2 L U' L' y' R U R' (7)
L' U2 L R' U R (6)
U L U' L' U2 L U' L (This next pair coming up I would do the rotation only because personally I am faster doing it this way, I could solve this pair in 7 moves if I chose to, but I do it slow) (8)
y' U' R U2 R' U y' R' U' R (8)
y S' L' U' L U L F' L' f (9 moves, yea I count slice as 1)
g perm (13 moves)
57 Moves. thats what I would have done in a real solve, yes i suck at f2l, but whatever. I did not check my solution, so if it doesn't work, actually watch the pieces and realize what I was going for