Corrupt-a-Wish: Cubing Edition

[cmhardw]

Granted, but it's a reverse lottery and you have to pay the owner of the button $20,000.

I also wish waffle=ijm had a lamp

 

[waffle=ijm]

granted, but I still don't have one
I wish I had a new lamp

 

[cmhardw]

Granted, but it's a 1 meter diameter search light.

I wish the world championship was held on the moon, with space robots!

 

[dannyz0r]

Granted but its a new used lamp.
I wish waffle=ijm's lamp would work

 

[waffle=ijm]

granted but it's not here yet
I wish for a new lamp

 

[V-te]

Granted, but it's a 1 meter diameter search light.

I wish the world championship was held on the moon, with space robots!

Granted, but as soon as you solve it, the moon blows up, causing havec to the earths rotation.

I wish I had a cube that could transform into any twisty puzzle.

 

[Forte]

Granted, but that power is unlocked only when Waffle gets a new lamp

I wish my pen was awesome! (It is just a regular pen now)

 

[Sa967St]

Granted, but you will be too busy using it, that you will forget all the square-1 EP algs you know

I wish I didn't have to do my summer homework (school starts in 2 weeks and I haven't started it yet because I've been cubing too much).

 

[Forte]

Granted, but now you have to do winter homework that is due in the summer for unspecified reasons. Also, you have to trade the purple stickers of your cube in for more red stickers. So now your cube has two red sides.

I wish that pigs were triangle-shaped.

Also, isn't it about 2:00 in the morning where you live, Sarah?

 

[shelley]

Granted, but now you have to do winter homework that is due in the summer for unspecified reasons. Also, you have to trade the purple stickers of your cube in for more red stickers. So now your cube has two red sides.

I wish that pigs were triangle-shaped.

Also, isn't it about 2:00 in the morning where you live, Sarah?

Granted. Bacon is now considerably less delicious, due to reduced fat content of triangle shaped pigs.

I wish there were more hours in a day.

 

[jcuber]

Granted, but it would take a long time for the living things on earth to adjust.

I wish I didn't suck at 3x3.

 

[trying-to-speedcube...]

Granted, but you would suck at everything else.

I wish I can get a sub-6 minutes average at 7x7 in the weekly competition 2009-34.

 

[Inf3rn0]

Granted, but everyone laughs at your untrue name making you feel sad.

I wish my business made $5000+ revenue.

 

[cmhardw]

Granted, it will this year. However, next year you are paid with bacon strips made from triangular pigs.

I wish I could comprehend the 4th spacial dimension.

 

[Escher]

Granted, it will this year. However, next year you are paid with bacon strips made from triangular pigs.

I wish I could comprehend the 4th spacial dimension.

Granted, but then you can't comprehend the 3rd, meaning you knock things off tables when trying to pick them up and walk into things the entire time.

I wish that my Type C/c4u hybrid didn't lock up so much, but was still as good in every other respect.

 

[nitrocan]

Granted, but then you lose the enthusiasm to cube completely.

I wish I were a fish in your dish...

No actually I wish I could see any dream I wanted.

 

[waffle=ijm]

granted, but then you couldn't sleep
I wish for a new lamp

 

[fanwuq]

Granted, but there is no lampshade or lamppost.
I wish for a lamb for dinner.

 

[waffle=ijm]

granted, how do you want it cooked?
I wish for a new lamp

 

[cmhardw]

-edit-- oops beaten to the punch. Changed entry below.

Granted, but I bludgeon you over the head with your new lamp.

I wish I had a nickel.