THE LUBIX JAWDROP

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Owen

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This new state of the art speedcube the LUBIX JAWDROP, has a long history in development. First started by Josiah Wendell in 1645, this cube has in all, over 40 years of combined labor put into it.
Made from a Dayan LunHui, the LUBIX JAWDROP was knighted in 1987 for it's benefits to civilization. It has these extraordinary features.

*Modified using the 640 point edge mod, the V-cube 5 mod, and 200 other performance enhancing mods.
*Unpoppable due to quantum mechanics.
*Optimized cubes.
*Stickers are scratch 'n' sniff, and double as a hallucinogenic when licked.
*Lubed with a WHOLE jar of grape jelly, plus a bucket of pond water
*Core is made of pure gold.
*Tensioned to the absolute best tensions possible. That's right, the best.
*Justin Bieber approved.
*Kissed by all four members of the Beatles.
*Cannot be heard.
*Can easily do U9001.
*Doubles as a Square-1, just turn it inside-out!
*Made of plastic that is the is the best type of the plastic available in this day and age.
*Safe for children.
*Cuts corners quite well.


The bidding for the LUBIX JAWDROP starts at the low cost of $800,000. bid before it's too late!
 
$800,000? Are you kidding? I'd pay $150,000 for that cube, at most. 40 years really sounds like a lot, you must suck at modding... I bet I could do all that in only 28 years. Plus, your cube isn't even perfect, because I'd want these features too:
- Core is made of diamond (the hardest metal).
- Does a sune with a single flick of the U face.
- Based on the V-Cube design, but not in a way that breaks patent law.
- Unpoppable, except when you want to pop it.
- Turns into a 5x5x5 when you're drunk.
- 90 degree corner cutting.
- Layers click in place to prevent misalignment, but not in a way that slows down solving.
- Stickers should be extra bright, so they are glowing with their respective colors even in the daytime.

You can't call yourself a decent modder when you are peddling a cube this overpriced and under-modded...
 
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