Having trouble relating to the cubing community

I think it's pathetic that I'm being told that saying we're accepting and he will have no problem is not enough or incorrect.
I can't believe this is your response to what I've been saying. It is not the job of the cubing community to solve any of this. No matter what all of us do, he's the only one who can solve this problem. That's why people saying they're accepting isn't enough. Because our efforts can't be enough. Only his can be. I think everyone in this thread has made it clear that the cubing community is not at fault for his lack of ability to connect. That's why I've been mostly throwing ideas out about how he could change himself and not talking about the community much. I really don't get how you could interpret what I said as a negative reflection on your efforts to help.
 
I can't believe this is your response to what I've been saying. It is not the job of the cubing community to solve any of this. No matter what all of us do, he's the only one who can solve this problem. That's why people saying they're accepting isn't enough. Because our efforts can't be enough. Only his can be. I think everyone in this thread has made it clear that the cubing community is not at fault for his lack of ability to connect. That's why I've been mostly throwing ideas out about how he could change himself and not talking about the community much. I really don't get how you could interpret what I said as a negative reflection on your efforts to help.

Then why even bring this drivel up? There's nothing more we can do. I've already said this and you complained about it.
 
It's not necessary to assume anyone's sexuality. If there's some reason you require the information, you could just ask. The problems with assuming heterosexuality seem obvious enough to me: it alienates LGBT+ people. I would expand on what that means, but I trust that it's fairly self explanatory. It would be irrational to assume that everyone was queer, it's perfectly rational to not assume anything.

I don't mean it in the sense that you walk past someone and explicitly think "that person is straight". It's more like if person A walks up to me and is like "hey, do you reckon person B is straight?" I would say "well I assume so, because most people are..." (this is assuming I otherwise know nothing about person B). This is the only rational assumption to make. Of course, one could choose to suspend any judgement, but this is of no use. I could just go and ask person B, but that is probably the most alienating thing one could do ("oh hey, are you gay?")

Personally I think the only un-alienating way to deal with this topic is to not let it have any significance for oneself. By explicitly recognising that others are of a different sexuality brings emphasis to the fact that they are different. It's better to say "ok so you're gay but it doesn't affect anything about our relationship", much in the same way it doesn't matter to me if someone I'm talking to is straight (using "relationship" in a general sense).

So perhaps one could say to person A "I dunno, who cares?". Or else "well, statistically one would expect they're straight, but what does that matter?" But then again, this is useless if person A wants to ask person B out.

Any assumption that someone who is female has a male partner or vice versa is just a subtle reminder that they are an "other" which is obviously isolating for people. It's nice to use language that is more inclusive for people and doesn't assume that they are straight. It's something small but can go a long way in letting people feel welcome. You could say "partner" or "spouse." Most people don't bother.

Ultimately one has to face up to reality. If I see a chick and I want to go ask her out, if she's a lesbian she isn't going to be interested anyway. And if some guy is interested in me he's wasting his time because I'm not gay. Acting as if LGBTIQs aren't different is completely impractical, because they are different and I'm not going to be all "yea I'll go out with you" to a guy, because I'm straight. And it would be really over the top for me to, every time I want to ask a chick out, go "hey I just need to make sure you aren't a lesbian, before I ask you out".

At the end of the day, everyone is different in some way. It sucks for LGBTIQs that they're different in a way which is generally extremely relevant to human social interaction (sexual relationships). But LGBTIQs only isolate themselves by acting out and making a big deal out of it.

Just as an example, I'm fairly short for a white guy. There is abundant scientific research showing that being short is a disadvantage for males in modern western society (ranging from all sorts of factors such as how competent people think you are, to the likelihood of getting a really good job, to your level of attractiveness, to seeing over the head of the tall dude in front of you...). And from the perspective of a short guy, if you look out for it it's actually really noticeable. But there's nothing I can do about it, so I just have to accept it and deal with it. That's life, and most of the time life sucks if you let it.
 
Dene: dating people is such a tiny part of your interactions with people. If the only time you ever assume someone's sexuality is because you want to attempt to date them or you're helping someone else date someone, then I could honestly care less. I don't think we disagree that much. I am more referring to the institutionalized assumptions that people are straight; these are more harmful and damaging than anything else.

I have confidence most people can interact with a someone and decide for themselves if they are interested or not, so the whole dating thing isn't really what I was talking about. I'm more concerned about assumptions at the societal and institutional levels. Personal assumptions can also be somewhat isolating, but if you only do them when you try to pursue someone because you feel uncomfortable asking someone if they're queer, I think we'll survive.

But I've had people straight up ask me and I've never found it awkward! Maybe that's just me though, I'm into blunt-ness so I guess everyone's different. *shrug*
 
I don't think we disagree that much. I am more referring to the institutionalized assumptions that people are straight; these are more harmful and damaging than anything else.

Oh I see. Tbh I never really noticed so much, but perhaps that's because New Zealand isn't anti-gay.
 
I can't believe this is your response to what I've been saying. It is not the job of the cubing community to solve any of this. No matter what all of us do, he's the only one who can solve this problem. That's why people saying they're accepting isn't enough. Because our efforts can't be enough. Only his can be. I think everyone in this thread has made it clear that the cubing community is not at fault for his lack of ability to connect. That's why I've been mostly throwing ideas out about how he could change himself and not talking about the community much. I really don't get how you could interpret what I said as a negative reflection on your efforts to help.

please address me directly next time, thanks.
 
please address me directly next time, thanks.
I addressed you directly earlier in this thread, and you never responded. Pages 4 and 5. If you found it as useless as everyone else seems to have, feel free to tell me and I'll quit wasting space in this thread. Best wishes.
 
Last edited:
Gays ruin everything.
No, I'm pretty sure that you're the one that ruins everything. I really don't give a crap whether you're joking or serious about what you just said. You constantly are rude to everybody on this forum and it's getting really ****ing old. A few posts ago, you got angry with me for implying that your efforts to help were not what they should've been, and now you're saying "gays ruin everything?" If you didn't lose the right to criticize how anyone else tries to help Johnny when you accused him of insulting the cubing community and being pessimistic and histrionic, you just lost that right with this post. There's a reason your speedsolving wiki page calls you snide and immature. I don't care how brilliant a puzzle theorist you are, you're an ass.
 
Last edited:
No, I'm pretty sure that you're the one that ruins everything. I really don't give a crap whether you're joking or serious about what you just said. You constantly are rude to everybody on this forum and it's getting really ****ing old. A few posts ago, you got angry with me for implying that your efforts to help were not what they should've been, and now you're saying "gays ruin everything?" If you didn't lose the right to criticize how anyone else tries to help Johnny when you accused him of insulting the cubing community and being pessimistic and histrionic, you just lost that right with this post. There's a reason your speedsolving wiki page calls you snide and immature. I don't care how brilliant a puzzle theorist you are, you're an ass.

I don't think he knows, no one tell him!
 
I need to get something off my chest- Ever since MeMyselfAndPi made the video where he defended Chick-Fil-A (the video was very homophobic) I have kind of felt like the community was anti-gay. The reason why was because it didn't seem like that affected his reputation that much (although the v-cube thing did). I've realized that this community really isn't anti-gay but I'm still a bit frustrated that there wasn't more opposition to the things that he was saying.

I was really upset and hurt by what he said and I needed to say that.
 
Last edited:
I don't think there are a whole lot of people who give two ***** about anything MMAP has to say about anything except for maybe 12-inch bolts...
 
I need to get something off my chest- Ever since MeMyselfAndPi made the video where he defended Chick-Fil-A (the video was very homophobic) I have kind of felt like the community was anti-gay. The reason why was because it didn't seem like that affected his reputation that much (although the v-cube thing did). I've realized that this community really isn't anti-gay but I'm still a bit frustrated that there wasn't more opposition to the things that he was saying.

I was really upset and hurt by what he said and I needed to say that.

Can you please stop with your intolerance. This is America and people can say whatever they want. No one has to agree with everything you believe in, and you don't have to either. You've been crying for attention ever since you started this thread, and your attempts at playing the victim card are tiresome and boring. Please move on already.
 
Can you please stop with your intolerance. This is America and people can say whatever they want. No one has to agree with everything you believe in, and you don't have to either. You've been crying for attention ever since you started this thread, and your attempts at playing the victim card are tiresome and boring. Please move on already.

When people say things that are homophobic and bigoted, it's hurtful. Gay people in this country are not treated as well as straight people and face constant hostility. We are second class citizens, although fortunately that is changing. But we still face discrimination. If you can't see that, you're the one who has a problem, not me.
 
Last edited:
When people say things that are homophobic and bigoted, it's hurtful. Gay people in this country are not treated as well as straight people and face constant hostility. We are second class citizens, although fortunately that is changing. But we still face discrimination. If you can't see that, you're the one who has a problem, not me.
Someone, somewhere, is saying something bigoted and hurtful toward every social group imaginable right now. If it happens in your real life, yeah, that's crappy. But don't look for random morons on youtube to be hurt by, because you'll find them, and you would be able to find them even if you weren't gay.
 
Someone, somewhere, is saying something bigoted and hurtful toward every social group imaginable right now. If it happens in your real life, yeah, that's crappy. But don't look for random morons on youtube to be hurt by, because you'll find them, and you would be able to find them even if you weren't gay.

I never look to be offended. That's why I haven't watched the video since.

The only reason why I'm still upset about this is because I never let it off my chest so it just kinda lingered.
 
Back
Top