Yeah, there's no reason why sexuality makes it difficult to relate to this community.
There's an assumption that we have some kind of barrier there, and that is borderline offensive.
You're correct about sexuality not making it difficult to relate to
this community in particular. However, if you've experienced bullying or lack of acceptance over a widespread period of time, your social persona will reflect that regardless of whether the community you are around is accepting of you or not. You are treating social phobias as if they are logical, and as if they are a reflection of those around you. They aren't. Saying "I have trouble relating to the cubing community because of my sexuality" might be better expressed as "the social anxiety I have as a result of long term negative treatment because of my sexuality makes it difficult to relate to the cubing community." But "there's an assumption that we have some kind of barrier there, and that is borderline offensive" strikes me as a misinterpretation. His sexuality may not affect the way the cubing community relates to him. But it does affect the way he relates to everyone, and as the cubing community is a subset of "everyone,"
his sexuality affects the way he relates to the cubing community.
Johnny, there is no solution that comes from us. The way you will be accepted is by making your external personality one that people find appealing. Trial and error works. If you lack the ability to connect to us using your natural personality, and you decide that you would rather be accepted than be entirely "yourself," then the way you'll be accepted is if you figure out how to manipulate us into liking you. Become whoever society wants you to be. That may sound despicable, and that's because it is. But that's your answer. Act in ways that people will like, even if it doesn't represent who you think you really are.
I'm not telling you that this is a objectively a good thing to do. I'm telling you that it's how to be accepted by people. Being yourself may be more valuable to you than being liked by us, and if that's the case, then you should NOT do what I suggested. It's your decision.
One thing to NOT do is what you did in this thread. It's OK to admit vulnerabilities, but not in the way that you just did. Most people will interpret that as weak and needy, to put it bluntly. You're much less likely to drive me away by doing that than you are with someone else, since I have social anxiety disorder, and have firsthand experience with irrational social phobias. But I know from my own experience that what you did was a mistake, and will make you less connected to the community, not more. Anxiety and insecurity are contagious, and if you act that way, people who aren't that way themselves will not like you.
