My stupid computer won't scan :\ (and it's illegal)
anyway:
"The Cube: A New Threat to World Peace
The world is under threat from a new invader. It is only a few inches square, and can be twiddles round your little finger. It is the CUBE. Only a few years ago nobody had heard of the cube - it had yet to be invented. The, from nowhere, cubes started appearing in even quite normal households that had previously included nothing more dangerous than a bottle of aspirin and a copy of The Joy of Sex
Do YOU recognize this object?
If so, you are under threat, and this book is for you." (Picture shows a scrambled cube with a thought bubble leading to a solved cube.)
"Napoleon's Cube" (Picture shows Napoleon on horseback fiddling with something under his jacket.)
"The cube was supposedly invented in 1974, by a Hungarian called Erno Rubik. Hungary has already tried to conquer the world, ion the time of the Tartars; this time it looks as if world domination will be complete. In 1980 more than five million cubes were produced, and soon the insidious object will have infiltrated its way into every house in the Western Hemisphere. It is probably no coincidence that the invasion of the Cube comes at a time of unprecedented economic recession: people are twiddling while industry grinds to a halt.
People buy the Cube thinking that it is going to be "fun." After three fruitless days of twiddling the thing they no longer care whether it is fun or not - they are hooked. Nobody seems to be immune from the attractions of Rubik's rotating nightmare: small children surrender to its charms with wanton abandon, oldsters fiddle with it in their wheelchairs. Books claiming to explain the secrets of its solution sell by the thousands. Yet nobody has realized that the Cube constitutes a threat to the very fabric of society as we know it! It is time to fight back against the Cube, to own up to the dangers it poses to our basic freedoms, like the right to do nothing on Sundays. Cube haters, unite!
It is rumored that Erno Rubik himself has made very little money from his invention (or so they tell us!). Do not be distracted by this. After all, nobody goes on about how much money Attila the Hun made from his attempt to conquer the world. The spread of the Cube is much like that of the Black Death, except that it does not require rats to carry it about from place to place. Like the flue, most of the Cubes come from Hong Kong. A few people seem to have natural immunity to the disease; Cubes just do not interest them. But most people are highly susceptible, especially those who first dismiss it as 'a silly toy.' When they get hooked they become really bad cases. The authors themselves were Cubaholics of this type.
Mathematician tell us that there are 43, 252, 003, 274, 489, 856, 000 different color patterns you can get from the Cube. which is more than the population of China. Only one of these is the right answer. Small wonder that nobody can get the damn thing right.
Now there are whole host of Cube gurus who go on about its mystical attractions and educational value. No doubt Sir Francis Drake said much the same about tobacco. People who have contributed to the literature on Cube solving are described as Cubemeisters. There are not many of these and they have probably just fount out a new method of cheating. In any case, the potential market for Cubes is 43, 252, 003, 274, 489, 856, 000. One of these is simply bound to come out right!
At a school near us there is a sign in the children's playground that says: 'Only tennis balls and Rubik's Cubes allowed.' This shows the extent to which even educators have been brainwashed into regarding the Cube as an innocent, even beneficial, pastime." (Picture shows The Thinker holding a scrambled cube thinking of a solved cube.) "Have they failed to notice the bags under the eyes of those who were once their brightest pupils? We believe that the time has come to reveal the TRUTH about the Cube: it is DANGEROUS, ADDICTIVE, and nearly IMPOSSIBLE. Its use should be confined to consenting adults in private. We are not reactionaries. We realize that there are many already too deeply addicted to be suddenly taken off the 'high' they have come to depend on. We have advice for them - and their families - later in this book. But the time has come to prevent that unrestricted advance of the Hungarian Horror, as Time magazine has termed it.
- The Cube at the moment carries NO HEALTH WARNING. Legislation should be introduced AT ONCE to make sure that every Cube carries the worlds: 'Government Health warning : This cube will almost certainly destroy your brain.'
- At the present time the Cube can be bought by any person of any age. There should be an immediate law passed to exclude its sale to all minors and dogs, and to anyone with naturally twitchy fingers.
-Cubes are often on blatant display where they are likely to cause offense to those with a sensitive disposition. Shops selling Cubes should have a warning sign clearly announcing the kind of wares they have available: 'Anyone who is offended by explicit devices composed of twenty-six Cubies, or by Actual Twiddling, should not enter these premises.'
- Cube twiddling should be banned in public where it might encourage others to take up the habit. Offenders should be put in good old-fashioned stocked - impossible to twiddle there!" (Picture shows a man in stocked with a cube on his head and his hand are moving around trying to get it.) (Taking a break from typing for now, next is Nobody Can Do The Cube!)
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