Corrupt-a-Wish: Cubing Edition

[fanwuq]

Granted, and then you die! Lol.

I wish I didn't have to wear my retainer.

Lol What!? Fine, then I will take back all my cubes to revive myself.

Granted, and then you die! Lol.

I will I can have all your cubes... then blend them.

 

[qqwref]

Granted, but you forget to follow the "don't breathe this!" advice and end up with a chronic lung disease.

I wish that I would improve at least one competition PB every time I go to a competition, and that I'd continue going to competitions every few months for decades.

 

[Inf3rn0]

Granted, but you lose all your friends because they get tired of hearing of your new PB.

I wish i had a purple cube.

 

[ThatGuy]

granted, but you took it from Sa967St (i think you have a purple cube?)
I wish i could go to comps.

 

[V-te]

Granted, but you can never get out of the computers!

I wish I had caffeine that doesn't make me crash.

 

[Inf3rn0]

Granted, but it tastes so bad you dont enjoy consuming it anymore.

I wish my car was cheaper to run.

 

[DavidSanders]

Granted, but it is so cheap it blows up.

I wish I had motivation to learn some more PLL.

 

[V-te]

Granted, but then you realize you can never learn it! Mwahaha!!

I wish I could get better at F2L

 

[DavidSanders]

Granted, but you get better at F2L on a 15 layer cube.

I wish I could solve a cube with my tongue.

 

[V-te]

Granted, but you slice your tongue off in the process and you can never talk again!

I wish I could solve a square 1 good.

 

[Inf3rn0]

EDIT: majorly beaten to it by others lol.

 

[DavidSanders]

Granted, but you only win against 5 year olds.

I wish there was a competition near Georgia soon.

 

[V-te]

Granted, but you can't attend it.

I wish I was the king of cubes!

 

[DavidSanders]

Granted, but you will never have a queen.

I wish that I had unlimited plane tickets to cube competitions.

 

[Inf3rn0]

Granted, but the planes fly out of New Zealand.

I wish Metallica would play a New Zealand show.

 

[V-te]

Granted, but they die onstage.

I wish there was an easy N perm

 

[ChrisBird]

Granted, then you switch to roux.

I wish Homework didn't exist and I could cube all day.

 

[DavidSanders]

Granted, but then you find out that the only reason homework doesn't exist is because you got expelled.

I wish I would cube all day even if homework didn't exist, but I probably would have no motivation.

 

[KubeKid73]

Granted, but then your hands fall off from cubing so much, and you try with your feet and then they fall off.

I wish I had more puzzles and cubes.

 

[calekewbs]

granted, but the amount of cubes becomes so overwhelming that you become so overly-obsessed with cubing that you don't even stop to eat, sleep, go to school, etc. and die from malnourishment.

I wish that the corruptor of this wish posts not-granted.

(i love paradoxes XD)