Having trouble relating to the cubing community

[hawkmp4]

Can you please stop with your intolerance. This is America and people can say whatever they want. No one has to agree with everything you believe in, and you don't have to either. You've been crying for attention ever since you started this thread, and your attempts at playing the victim card are tiresome and boring. Please move on already.

If you really want to get into it, there are several things going on.

There's an issue of rights. Sure, with some restrictions, people can say whatever they want. The constitutional right of freedom of speech allows most expression.

That doesn't mean that someone is free to say whatever they want without repercussion. They are free to say what they want, and other people are free to call them a bigot for saying that. No rights are being trampled there.

You are free to make your post, and I am free to make mine and tell you that I think that you're being a **** and your position is naive.

EDIT: BTW this is not America, it's a forum, where many people are not from the US!

 

[Dene]

Yanks are notoriously ignorant, so one shouldn't expect anything else from them.


Also no one cares about memyselfandpi.

 

[PJKCuber]

Can you please stop with your intolerance. This is America and people can say whatever they want. No one has to agree with everything you believe in, and you don't have to either. You've been crying for attention ever since you started this thread, and your attempts at playing the victim card are tiresome and boring. Please move on already.

Dude, for God's sake empathize. How would you feel if you were a part of a community who was being being mistreated. How would you feel if I called you ____ .
The OP doesn't want attention, Johnny justs want to be treated like a normal person. It hurts Johnny's feelings when people call ____ and ____.
Believe me, I am not gay and yet people call me gay at school. It's ****ing annoying and painful. Believe, me I've been called nerdy,bookworm,fat,short,and ...... well it doesn't matter. My point is that it's extremely painful and depressing to have the whole world call you bad things. Johnny isn't playing the victim card. How is Johnny intolerant? Everybody has some good in them, however you may view them. Being solitary may feel nice to people who hate social stuff, but I'm pretty sure Johnny is pretty alone and hurt.
I don't normally post like this, because I'm shy and reserved, but posts like Artic's just tick me off.

 

[Johnny]

Believe me, I am not gay and yet people call me gay at school. It's ****ing annoying and painful.

I think it's really courageous of you to say that.

 

[TDM]

Believe me, I am not gay and yet people call me gay at school. It's ****ing annoying and painful. Believe, me I've been called nerdy,bookworm,fat,short,and ...... well it doesn't matter. My point is that it's extremely painful and depressing to have the whole world call you bad things.

There were a few people like that at my old school... imo those people's opinions aren't really worth caring about. Just ignore them (well don't completely ignore them, but ignore what they're saying, because you know that they're wrong.)
E: maybe I'm being a bit too extreme here... but what I'm saying is, just don't listen

 

[Stefan]

people call me gay at school. It's ****ing annoying and painful.
[...] it's extremely painful and depressing to have the whole world call you bad things.

Why do you think being gay is bad?

 

[hawkmp4]

Being gay isn't bad, but having someone call you gay, intending to hurt you and degrade you, that's bad. It's less the word itself than the emotion behind it.

It's also being called something that person is not.

 

[Johnny]

Why do you think being gay is bad?

Being gay is good. However, when a bunch of people are calling you gay, they are singling you out. That doesn't feel good.

 

[TDM]

Being gay is good.

I'm not trying to argue that it's bad when I ask this... but in what way is it 'good'? (how is it better than not being gay?) I can't really see why it would be better to be gay than not gay...

 

[Johnny]

I'm not trying to argue that it's bad when I ask this... but in what way is it 'good'? (how is it better than not being gay?) I can't really see why it would be better to be gay than not gay...

Saying that being gay is good does not negate the possibility of being bi or straight being good as well

 

[goodatthis]

Being able to find love is good, whether it's with the same gender or opposite.

 

[IRNjuggle28]

Why do you think being gay is bad?

Being gay isn't bad, but being misunderstood is. If people think you're gay when you're really not, you'll have a harder time finding someone who's interested in a relationship with you, since the gender you're attracted to thinks you're only interested in the other gender. Plus, the word "gay" is hurtful when used as an insult, as others have said.

 

[TDM]

Saying that being gay is good does not negate the possibility of being bi or straight being good as well

Oh ok. It just sounded to me like you meant it was better.

 

[DanpHan]

Dude, for God's sake empathize. How would you feel if you were a part of a community who was being being mistreated. How would you feel if I called you ____ .
The OP doesn't want attention, Johnny justs want to be treated like a normal person. It hurts Johnny's feelings when people call ____ and ____.
Believe me, I am not gay and yet people call me gay at school. It's ****ing annoying and painful. Believe, me I've been called nerdy,bookworm,fat,short,and ...... well it doesn't matter. My point is that it's extremely painful and depressing to have the whole world call you bad things. Johnny isn't playing the victim card. How is Johnny intolerant? Everybody has some good in them, however you may view them. Being solitary may feel nice to people who hate social stuff, but I'm pretty sure Johnny is pretty alone and hurt.
I don't normally post like this, because I'm shy and reserved, but posts like Artic's just tick me off.

We are talking about the cubing community. Name a single person that has mistreated Johnny because he is gay. You won't find any because there aren't any. I'm not going to take sides here, but saying that he started this thread for attention is a completely valid argument.

There are two scenarios in this case.

1. Johnny is referring to discrimination in his everyday life, and not necessarily from the cubing community. If this is the case, there's no need for this thread to be here. He even said in one of his posts that "people on this forum have been great." Then there's no reason to bring up having issues relating to the community here, which is what the post is about, because there aren't any issues.

2. Johnny is referring to discrimination from the cubing community. This also makes no sense because, as far as I can tell, no one in the cubing community has discriminated against him because of his sexual orientation. In this case (be it intentional or not), it's not only a call for attention, but also an insult to the entire forum and cubing community, basically stating that we're prejudiced and intolerant. He's offended more people in the community than have offended him.

I'm not saying that Johnny's a bad person. I'm saying this thread should not exist. It's basically an accusation of something no one here has done.

 

[IRNjuggle28]

Why did you bump this? Nobody's posted on it in 5 weeks.

We are talking about the cubing community. Name a single person that has mistreated Johnny because he is gay. You won't find any because there aren't any.

He's already said multiple times that the people on this forum treat him well, and that other than a couple morons on youtube, the cubing community has been accepting.

I'm not going to take sides here

Yes you are, don't bull**** us.

Saying that he started this thread for attention is a completely valid argument.

I don't think anyone ever posts a thread anywhere without the expectation that someone will pay attention to it. If what you actually meant is that he started the thread for no reason besides attention, I didn't get that impression. Plenty of easier ways to get attention than this if that's all you want.

There are two scenarios in this case.

1. Johnny is referring to discrimination in his everyday life, and not necessarily from the cubing community. If this is the case, there's no need for this thread to be here. He even said in one of his posts that "people on this forum have been great." Then there's no reason to bring up having issues relating to the community here, which is what the post is about, because there aren't any issues.

2. Johnny is referring to discrimination from the cubing community. This also makes no sense because, as far as I can tell, no one in the cubing community has discriminated against him because of his sexual orientation. In this case (be it intentional or not), it's not only a call for attention, but also an insult to the entire forum and cubing community, basically stating that we're prejudiced and intolerant. He's offended more people in the community than have offended him.

I don't know how there's any ambiguity here. He obviously is referring to number 1, as this post shows.

Johnny is referring to discrimination in his everyday life, and not necessarily from the cubing community. If this is the case, there's no need for this thread to be here. He even said in one of his posts that "people on this forum have been great." Then there's no reason to bring up having issues relating to the community here, which is what the post is about, because there aren't any issues.

Just because people on this forum aren't discriminatory doesn't mean he can relate to them. That's the issue he said he has. The thread is called "having trouble relating to the cubing community," not "having trouble not being discriminated against by the cubing community."

"Relating to people" refers to being able do interact with people in ways that feel emotionally satisfying. If he made this thread, it's obviously not satisfying for him, in which case he could say he has an issue. Perhaps his expectations of how much connection to others happens on forums are too high, and that's all that is wrong. But if he's not satisfied with it, then obviously it's an issue to him. Not your place to tell him he doesn't have an issue.

This thread should not exist. It's basically an accusation of something no one here has done.

No, it's not an accusation. He is not referring specifically to this forum. I don't know how the post saying "people have been great to me here; I'm talking about my everyday life" leaves any room for misunderstanding, but you seem to have found a way to get it wrong anyway.

Should probably quit wasting time replying to posts on this, but the way you and several others in this thread rip any post that's even slightly ambiguous to shreds really pisses me off. I didn't agree with everything Johnny said but I found it obvious he wasn't blaming the people on the forum for anything.

 

[DanpHan]

Why did you bump this? Nobody's posted on it in 5 weeks.
He's already said multiple times that the people on this forum treat him well, and that other than a couple morons on youtube, the cubing community has been accepting.
Yes you are, don't bull**** us.
I don't think anyone ever posts a thread anywhere without the expectation that someone will pay attention to it. If what you actually meant is that he started the thread for no reason besides attention, I didn't get that impression. Plenty of easier ways to get attention than this if that's all you want.

I don't know how there's any ambiguity here. He obviously is referring to number 1, as this post shows.
Just because people on this forum aren't discriminatory doesn't mean he can relate to them. That's the issue he said he has. The thread is called "having trouble relating to the cubing community," not "having trouble not being discriminated against by the cubing community."

"Relating to people" refers to being able do interact with people in ways that feel emotionally satisfying. If he made this thread, it's obviously not satisfying for him, in which case he could say he has an issue. Perhaps his expectations of how much connection to others happens on forums are too high, and that's all that is wrong. But if he's not satisfied with it, then obviously it's an issue to him. Not your place to tell him he doesn't have an issue.

No, it's not an accusation. He is not referring specifically to this forum. I don't know how the post saying "people have been great to me here; I'm talking about my everyday life" leaves any room for misunderstanding, but you seem to have found a way to get it wrong anyway.

Should probably quit wasting time replying to posts on this, but the way you and several others in this thread rip any post that's even slightly ambiguous to shreds really pisses me off. I didn't agree with everything Johnny said but I found it obvious he wasn't blaming the people on the forum for anything.

Seems a lot like you were trying to **** me off as well, saying that I was "bull****ing. Either way, yes, I'll admit that I was wrong, and yes, I probably was taking sides, but a lot of it was just misinterpretation on my part. Please be a bit more tolerant with me, as I'm trying to correct these things.

I bumped this thread because there's clearly points that need to be addressed.

Eliminating all off topic discussion, this is my main point.

I can agree that he isn't being discriminated against in this community, so I'll avoid any thing referring to that. On to relating. He has stated that his issue relating to the community stems from the fact that he is gay. I'm not really sure how that would affect his ability to interact with people in "emotionally satisfying ways," since virtually no discussion on the forum is related to sexual orientation. Using the evidence from this post and the original post, I can translate the meaning of his original post to mean, "I can't have emotionally satisfying interaction with people in the cubing community because I'm gay and they aren't." In this case, yes, he does have an issue. This isn't the community's fault or Johnny's fault. However, I don't think that the community needs to make a change since, in general, the people have been accepting of him in this regard. If he wants to be able to relate, he needs to change the way he views it.

Hopefully this clears some things up. I'm willing to admit that some of my statements in the previous post were misinterpretations and I was wrong with a lot of those statements. Feel free to clarify any misinterpretations in this post.

EDIT: Just to clarify a little, the previous post was a reply to another post by someone that implied that there were people in the community mistreating him. That's probably where a lot of the misconceptions came from.

 

[ketchuphater999]

Look, this thread really isn't adding anything useful to the community other than arguments. Johnny already said what he wanted to say and if he(or anyone else, for that matter) hasn't posted anything here for over a month then I think the majority of people don't find this thread very constructive (it's just a bunch of arguments imo).

I don't think there's much anyone else can add to this.

Seems a lot like you were trying to **** me off as well, saying that I was "bull****ing."

my point being...

 

[IRNjuggle28]

Seems a lot like you were trying to **** me off as well, saying that I was "bull****ing. Either way, yes, I'll admit that I was wrong, and yes, I probably was taking sides, but a lot of it was just misinterpretation on my part. Please be a bit more tolerant with me, as I'm trying to correct these things.

Fair enough.

The previous post was a reply to another post by someone that implied that there were people in the community mistreating him. That's probably where a lot of the misconceptions came from.

Perhaps the part that got misinterpreted was this: "Dude, for God's sake empathize. How would you feel if you were a part of a community who was being being mistreated?"

Is this the part that made you think he meant people on this forum were mistreating him? I think the community he is referring to is the LGBT community, not the cubing community. He didn't mean that the people on this forum were doing anything, just that gay people are not treated very well in general.

I can agree that he isn't being discriminated against in this community, so I'll avoid any thing referring to that. On to relating. He has stated that his issue relating to the community stems from the fact that he is gay. I'm not really sure how that would affect his ability to interact with people in "emotionally satisfying ways," since virtually no discussion on the forum is related to sexual orientation.

Having been bullied or discriminated against in the past can affect the way you interact with everyone, regardless of what the topic of discussion is. Often, it makes people less confident and more withdrawn. That's the thing that makes it difficult to relate to people. Johnny was a bit vague, but this post is the main one that made me think that's what he meant.

Using the evidence from this post and the original post, I can translate the meaning of his original post to mean, "I can't have emotionally satisfying interaction with people in the cubing community because I'm gay and they aren't."

I interpreted the OP and Johnny's later posts to mean "The way I've been treated because of being gay affected my personality in a way that makes it harder to have emotionally satisfying interaction with people, on and off the forum."

I don't think that the community needs to make a change since, in general, the people have been accepting of him in this regard. If he wants to be able to relate, he needs to change the way he views it.

Yep, I totally agree with you that that's what he needs to do.

I don't think Johnny thinks the community needs to change either--the OP asked for advice on what *he* can do to better relate to us, and he said the people on here were great. He knows it's on him.

Hopefully this clears some things up.

Yep, completely. Thanks.