Rubix Cube as torture device

[d4m4s74]

source: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rubix_cube
one word slightly changed for relevancy



The Rubix Cube is a popular torture device, most notably used by the Germans during World War II. The tortureer will give a scrambled one to a prisoner, and tell them that they can go free once the cube is solved. Prisoners have been known to drive themselves insane trying to finish the "impossibly simple" puzzle.

Also, if your prisoner happens to be really smart, you can guarantee that he'll never solve the cube by painting one of the blue squares red, and one of the red squares blue. Presto! An unsolvable Rubix's cube!

 

[Gparker]

thats crazy, and a good idea...

 

[Lord Voldemort]

What's the word changed for relevancy?

 

[d4m4s74]

What's the word changed for relevancy?

actually one word removed, the word Also

 

[Vulosity]

There was a Rubik's Cube during World War II?

 

[EmersonHerrmann]

Brilliant

 

[MaO]

There was a Rubik's Cube during World War II?

That's what I thought.
Wasn't it invented in 1974?

 

[Crossed]

This thread wins.
I guess most of you know why.

 

[JLarsen]

lol it's clearly made by ignorant people, but it is funny as well. I really liked the caption on the picture; "Helping you accept failure." Rofl Also the Other uses for this cube of futility. thanks for posting lol

 

[Sa967St]

Common Solutions

Solving a Rubik's Cube.There are several known solutions to the Rubik's cube. Here is a list of several:

Carefully pop off the pieces with a spoon and put them back together properly.
Find someone who looks smart to do it for you.
If the particular cube has flimsy stickers, then peel them off and stick them back on in order.
Dip it in paint.
First, solve for the first layer by first making a + with the middle cube (white is best as it stands out) and the edge cubes. Make sure they line up. Next, get the corners in. After that, solve for the second and easiest layer. The final layer is hardest. First you must get a cross using the FRUR'U'F' and FURU'R'F' maneuvers. Then position them correctly. Once that is done, you must get the corners in the right position but not necessarily rotated properly. A final couple of maneuvers performed up to four times will orient the corners and voila! It is messed up even more.
First join a math team competing in the American Regions Math League Then you must find Macky in the contest. From here the path splits. You can either become a crazed fangirl and take pictures with him until he solves it for you. You can cause him to repetitively lose the game until he just solves it for you.
Use the Pythagoras Theorum to solve the cube.
Put it back were you found it and never go back to it again. Chances are that you will not be able to remember the way how it goes, so you should just leave it. Or throw it at a Chavez or whatever...
Although these solutions have been scientifically proven, most scholars agree that the best way to solve the Rubik's cube is to buy a new one.
Position and orient the centers (the other pieces will be automatically positioned and oriented when this is accomplished).
Smash it with a large hammer
Glue it back together with Rubik's glue.
Microwave it.
Other good method to solve the cube is to build and Atomical Energo Smart Thingy That Does Cool Stuff But You Use It On The Damn Cube(olso known as AESTTDCSBYUIOTDC) to rearrange the sub atomical particles that are so small but often bigger than some of the people's brain, into a cubical tri cuboidal shape that looks similar to the Rubigz Cube(aka Rubix Cube(aka Rubik Cube(aka Rubik's Cube(aka Death Trap)))),but after loosing all your time by building this damn things you just die of eldery and before dying you found out there is a easier method listed above.

Other uses for this Cube of Futility
Other suggested uses are as varied as:


Helping you to accept utter failure.A secret code that, when unscrambled, tells you where the diamonds are buried.
A drug.
A nuke cleverly disguised as an innocent cube.
The first mail bomb employed by the terrible Pat Sajak during his infamous "Tour of Sodomy."
A drug.
An educational tool designed to prepare young men, through its impossible nature to solve, for their long lives of being unable to satisfy a single woman.
A device used to summon creatures from other planets.
A drug.
A power source for the Power Rangers.
A pesticide.
Not a drug.
A bastard who stabs you in the back and goes dating your girlfriend.
A stimulant (which is a type of drug)
Still a drug.
Chick Magnet (Its the truth; I'm speaking from experience)
And yet still a drug (do you see its mysteriousness yet?)
A drug
A patch for boat leaks
A weapon (If you throw it hard enough you could get somebody's eye out - and they're fun to cut up into millions of tiny pieces)
Satan's Devil Box
A way to commit suicide (if you throw it hard enough at a mirror it will come right back at you).
A place to put your kittens before you huff them, which involves getting high, which usually involves a drug.
A Pokeball
A drug
A carrot
A drug
Santa Claus in disguise
A drug
Zeus' thunderspear
And did we mention a drug yet?
A portal to an alternate universe
An "An Hero" machine
A distraction
And I think we mentioned a drug.
A dog waving to us and running in circles.
Another drug
A "trilateral gigaextending nuclear reactor made by a 13 years old kid" stuff that is colorful and feels like a drug
[edit] See Also

can't...stop...laughing...

 

[dChan]

Ha, Uncyclopedia is a pretty cool place, especially when you find articles that are cleverly written. I saw this a few months ago and could not stop laughing at the article about, "the Communist plastic cube-like toy that captivated a generation."

 

[Ethan Rosen]

There actually was a real article a while back about a Guantanamo Bay inmate who spent most of his time trying to solve a Rubik's Cube they gave him. I think in the end he got it.

 

[d4m4s74]

There actually was a real article a while back about a Guantanamo Bay inmate who spent most of his time trying to solve a Rubik's Cube they gave him. I think in the end he got it.

I think it was something like 6 days

 

[EmersonHerrmann]

Rofl:

A drug
...
A drug
...
Not a drug
...
Still a drug
...
Zeus' thunderspear
...


That's some brilliant stuff hahahahaa


Edit: This is the best website EVER....

 

[coolmission]

If you haven't spent 13 hours on Uncyclopedia, you haven't been living your life to the fullest.

 

[Chuberchuckee]

The actual current world record for speed solving is held by Erik Akkersdijk with a time of 7.08 seconds who, incidentally, also holds the record for highest number of years gone without companionship.

Now that's just cruel.