Today I will be posting a series of "non-cubers say the darndest things" stories about most of my conversations with my landlord. :fp
The first story is around the time we first met. I was showing off my cubing times and he was quite impressed.
Landlord: "I didn't know people could do it that fast. I remember when it came out in the '80s and I figured it out myself in 1 month."
Me: "Can you still solve it now?"
Landlord: "I still have the same cube from the '80s. I solve it at home sometimes."
(so then I scrambled my cube and handed it to him)
Landlord: "Oh wow this feels great, what kind of grease did you put in it"
Me: "Just silicone... now, can I watch you solve it."
Landlord: "It takes me a long time"
Me: "That's okay, at least you can solve it right? I'm curious about you solving method."
(So he turns it and jerks it around like he knows what he's doing. 3 minutes pass and the best he got was 7 colors on the blue face.)
Landlord: "It takes me a long time to figure it out. But I can do it using my method."
Me: "Can you please explain your particular method?"
Landlord: "It's quite long and difficult to understand."
(Then his phone rang and it ended like that)
--We can all assume he doesn't know **** about the cube, right?
Here's the 2nd story of my landlord. The time of this was just after I opened my store for business. It's linked to the story above ^
(He walks into my store around closing time).
Landlord: "Okay, I forgot how to solve it using my method. Can you teach me?"
Me: "Sure! But first you will need to buy one of my 3x3's"
(So he pays for the cheapest 3x3 in my store, the F-I)
Landlord: "Okay, so you showed me the first step. "Plus", right?"
:fp Me: "Cross"
Landlord: "That's right I remember."
(He continues trying to solve the cross. Time passes and the furthest he got was 3 pieces...)
Me: "Do you need some help"
Landlord: "You know me, I figure things out pretty well by myself."
(Eventually he gives up and I start showing him examples.)
Landlord: "I see what you're doing, but mine isn't working the same as yours!"
Me: "There's nothing different. You're just thinking too much. All you need is 4 pieces to make a cross."
Landlord: ".... ... okay."
(The FI slipped out of his hands and fell on the floor, popping several caps. He then immediately picks up the caps and puts them wherever. :fp :fp :fp)
Me: "You know what, how about I let you borrow my book. (Speedsolving the Cube by Dan Harris)"
Landlord: "But isn't that cheating?"
Me: "Is learning the ABC's from a teacher considered cheating?"
Landlord: "......"
(I just gave him a new FI instead of fixing the caps on the other one... just to get him out of there before he breaks something else.)
--So he borrowed my book for about a week and returns it a week later... The story will continue in the 3rd story. They're linked together. :fp
I thought I'd round up this series into 1 post because I forgot to post the last part.
So a week passes and it's now Saturday. Donovan (lubix) and another cuber are visiting at the same time my Landlord walks in.
Landlord: "Okay, I learned it!"
Me: "Learned what?"
Landlord: "The method in this book"
Me: "Which one? There's 2"
Landlord: "The one with all of the algorithms"
Me: "Okay! Show me a T Perm."
(He flips through my book. Then changes the subject... sort of)
Landlord: "I have a better idea for a method than the one in this book."
Me: "You mean CFOP?"
Donovan: [smirks]
Landlord: "Yeah... I was searching online and found God's Algorithm. Here I'll show you."
(he quickly tries to take over my computer and I stop him)
Me: "We already know what it is." (I explained it to him in detail)
Landlord: "Then what are we waiting for, let's try this method and you could get the WR... that would make you famous, and your business will be famous too!"
Donovan: "The human brain can't handle that type of information to solve the cube in 20 moves or less."
Me: "We're not computers... plus, you only have 15 seconds of inspection time if you want to get a record time with this method."
Landlord: "But if you practice this enough, you can do it. Just like the method you guys use now!"
Donovan: "You can't master it, not even in a million years!"
Landlord: "See watch we'll start practicing now!"
(He turns the cube 6 moves behind his back)
Landlord: "This is only a 6 move scramble. See if you can solve it like this!"
(I could NOT solve it in 6 moves)
Landlord: "That was only 6 moves, I could have done that easily."
Me: "That's because you scrambled it."
Landlord: "But... you see the method? You practice every-single-move by doing 4 moves... going back 4 moves... doing 5, going back, etc. etc. until you reach 20!"
Me: "Do you know how many permutations a cube can have?"
Landlord: "No more than 4 million."
Donovan: [LOL's]
Me: "Nope! You don't know anything about this... "
Landlord: "I will learn this method then. I have a 197 IQ you know."
Donovan: [LOOOOOL's]
Me: "You're not going to, you know why? People like us would be using it if it actually worked, that's why I use a method that has 4 steps. It isn't going to be 1 step like you fantasize. You CANNOT do it."
Landlord: "Then how did that guy get the 7 sec. WR?"
Me & Donovan: "Practice"
Landlord: "But you can practice this one... I think with enough thinking it can be done. You seem really smart!"
Me: "..............."
Landlord: "I will practice it then. I will show everyone at the competition here!"
Me: "Good luck!"
:fp
--It is obvious that he got no where and didn't learn anything at all. He didn't register nor did he compete. But he did come and watch some of the events. He even talked to Tyson Mao for about 2 hours going on and on about the speedcubing community and how amazingly awesome blindfold cubing is. He never came back to me about learning God's Algorithm. This concludes my Landlord series of Non-cubers say the darndest things!
and yeah how many times have you hear this excuse?
