Corrupt-a-Wish: Cubing Edition

[Tim Major]

Granted, but you continue to rise 1 metre/second.

I wish I was sub 5 at Pyra.

 

[~Phoenix Death~]

Granted, but you can't get back down.
I wish my cube would CUT CORNERZ AT 45 DEGREEEEEEZ

 

[Ranzha]

Granted, but you can't get back down.
I wish my cube would CUT CORNERZ AT 45 DEGREEEEEEZ

Granted, but it pops.

I wish I had a sub-2-minute BLD average with 100% accuracy.

 

[Tyjet66]

Granted, but after your average, you actually go blind.

I wish I could've solved my skewb without help.

 

[y3k9]

Granted, but it pops.

I wish I had a sub-2-minute BLD average with 100% accuracy.

Granted, but you average .01 seconds, and wca bans you from comps because they think you cheat.

I wish my cat could cube and we both had around the same times.

Edit:
ninja'd again.

Granted, but after your average, you actually go blind.

I wish I could've solved my skewb without help.

Granted, but the only method you think of is peeling the stickers.

 

[Tim Major]

Granted, but you can't get back down.

You didn't respond to my wish

Granted, but you now need help to do everything else in life.

I wish I was sub 5 at Pyra.

 

[RCTACameron]

Granted, but you average .01 seconds, and wca bans you from comps because they think you cheat.

I wish my cat could cube and we both had around the same times.

Granted, but your cat wants to be faster than you so they smash all your cubes.

I wish I could do 1-look on all my 2x2 solves.

 

[Ranzha]

Granted, but your cat wants to be faster than you so they smash all your cubes.

I wish I could do 1-look on all my 2x2 solves.

Granted, but you have no hands.

I wish I could solve clock faster.

 

[y3k9]

Granted, but you have no hands.

I wish I could solve clock faster.

Granted, but you lose your clock, then coincidently right after verdes bans ALL clocks.

I wish I had 3 more cubing related wishes.

 

[Ranzha]

Granted, but you lose your clock, then coincidently right after verdes bans ALL clocks.

I wish I had 3 more cubing related wishes.

Impossible.

Oh, and not granted.
I wish this wish was not granted.

 

[BigGreen]

Interrupting cow

 

[marthaurion]

Impossible.

Oh, and not granted.
I wish this wish was not granted.

Granted, but the universe implodes due to spontaneous paradoxism

I wish med school applications weren't so tedious

 

[da25centz]

You didn't respond to my wish

Granted, but you now need help to do everything else in life.

I wish I was sub 5 at Pyra.

granted, but you loose both thumbs

 

[Specs112]

Granted, but the universe implodes due to spontaneous paradoxism

I wish med school applications weren't so tedious

Granted, but you don't get accepted.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

 

[theace]

Granted, but then that wish isn't.

I wish lightake would make their free shipping faster...

 

[da25centz]

Granted, but then that wish isn't.

I wish lightake would make their free shipping faster...

granted, but they no longer sell cubes

I wish I could sub-3 a 5x5

 

[theace]

Granted, but now you can't sub 3 anything else.

Also,

I wish my CubeSmith stickers would come.

Granted, but now there's sticky, smelly, white goo all over the place and you have to clean it up.

I wish verdes unbans the guhong.

 

[Ranzha]

I wish verdes unbans the guhong.

Granted, but it's banned in India.

EDIT: I wish that I could recognize edge pairs faster on 4x4.

 

[Igora]

EDIT: I wish that I could recognize edge pairs faster on 4x4.

Granted but you forget how to create the centers

I wish the teraminx was 2 inches smaller in its dimensions and still had good turning.

 

[avgdi]

Granted but you forget how to create the centers

I wish the teraminx was 2 inches smaller in its dimensions and still had good turning.

Granted but they now cost 5 times as much.

I wish I could get a sub 20 3x3 avg within the next month.