You are right in that I was trying to get sub 20. After the competition that I was just at about 1 1/2 weeks ago, I failed and did pretty bad in almost all events, and my times were really sad for me to get (especially after the hate and what not that I got after the comp). So with that being said I realized that for me the times that I was getting at competitions are not like those that I was getting at home, so I changed a lot of different things at home to make it feel like a competition setting, since in competitions I get really really nervous, have very poor look ahead, get distracted with people and sounds around me etc. and so to improve that for me I started trying things like that at home to hopefully get better times at my next comp and show others that I am being honest with my times, because at the moment several people think that I cannot get good times (which is wrong and sad to see), but in the end I do not really care if they believe me or not, because I know that I am being honest.
With that being said, after I changed things up at home, I started to feel a little closer to the way I feel at comps and my times have been showing that, (for better or worse). I will keep practicing this way until I can average what I can at home when I am relaxed and focused on the solve.
I hope that this make sense.