help me to improve - your opinion wanted

[bcube]

Hi,

I have translated a Rubik's cube tutorial. I would like to ask you:

1) is it easily understandable (both meaning and English)? (if not, please specify)
2) what to add, remove, change, edit?
3) is it interesting enough for you to read through the whole site? (if not, what part(s) did you skip)?
4) are there any errors/not true informations?
5) what is the best and the worst on it?

Other critique than that is also welcome . Thank you in advance.

 

[gyroninja]

>Its solving principles can be used even elsewhere, for example in case of the Pyraminx or Megaminx.

Even needs to be moved in front of be. The current location implies that even is an adjective describing elsewhere. I think you should make this two sentenced. You should put a period after elsewhere. After elsewhere your grammar is pretty bad. After for example there should be a comma. When you use for example you need to have a full sentence following it. Your usage of in case is also used incorrectly. The way you have used it is essentially in case A then B. In case I'm not home by eight, you should call me. Another way to use in case would be A in case B happens. You should hour on case someone breaks into our house.

>Six independent faces, each of which has 3x3 stickers, can be rotated.

Instead of saying 3x3 stickers you should use nine stickers. It's a little more complicated to describe the fact there is three rows and three columns. Right now, it sounds like there is a picture of a 3x3 on the stickers.

>On this page you will find:

I would capitalize everything on this list. You should also capitalize each word in the titles of your sections.

>(you may calmly skip this part up to the pair of cube images with letters, because it has no effect on the solve itself)

Even though technically you should use may over can here, using may makes this sentence sound really formal. Using an adverb on skip is kind of weird. Usually people just say that you can skip something.

>. As already noted, this situation is always solvable by placing a misoriented corner from the upper layer to the working corner location and the reverse process of giving the working corner back must be done "skilfully" - in a way so that the cube would be solved in a final consequence.

I assume you are using quotes around skilfully to convey it's not actually that skillful. Final consequence doesn't realleiy fit there. Consequence has a negative connotation. A consequence is something bad that happens as a punishment for doing something bad. Using the word final make it really dramatic.

I hope these few suggestions help improve the English on that page.

 

[bcube]

Even needs to be moved in front of be.

With my limited knowledge of English, it doesn´t sound natural for me to have "even" in front of "be", therefore, I have put it after it. I´m not saying, of course, that your suggestion is wrong, don´t get me wrong. I´m just saying I personally find my current location of "even" fine. Anyway, thank you for pointing it out.

After elsewhere your grammar is pretty bad.

A sentence structure has been changed - a hyphen has been added. I hope it is better now.

Instead of saying 3x3 stickers you should use nine stickers.

Is saying both also OK for you?

I would capitalize everything on this list. You should also capitalize each word in the titles of your sections.

Although I am aware of this capitalization phenomenon (let this forum be an example) even in some English-written newspapers, other English-written newspapers don´t use this phenomenon and so is not a wikipedia. What´s more, as far as I remember, I think I never saw this phenomenon in case of scientific (physics, to be more specific) English-written papers. Therefore, I reached a conclusion the capitalization is not a strict rule. Unless strong arguments for a capitalization are given (preferably with an explanation why it is not used in scientific papers), I am going to leave it as it is now.

Even though technically you should use may over can here, using may makes this sentence sound really formal.

As long as it is not a really serious grammar error, I am fine with it o_O.

Using an adverb on skip is kind of weird. Usually people just say that you can skip something.

Maybe I am misunderstanding you on this one, but "this part" may be skipped in "you may calmly skip this part up to the pair of cube images with letters". That being said, I believe I use "skip something" in accordance with your suggestion.

I assume you are using quotes around skilfully to convey it's not actually that skillful.

Well, for beginners it is not a piece of cake at all, I would say. After all, some skills are required, since you must be thinking/planning in order to achieve your goal.

Final consequence doesn't realleiy fit there. Consequence has a negative connotation. A consequence is something bad that happens as a punishment for doing something bad. Using the word final make it really dramatic.

A "consequence" replaced by an "effect".
For me, it is hard to believe a consequence has a negative connotation. Consider this sentence: The Sun is shining. As a consequence, there is more light in comparison with night. More light certainly is not a punishment and a shining Sun is certainly not a bad thing, I would say.


Thank you for pointing it all out. Since I am not capable to see these errors, I would be grateful for telling me more of them.
And as a bonus, the corners-first method has been translated into English.

 

[gyroninja]

With my limited knowledge of English, it doesn´t sound natural for me to have "even" in front of "be", therefore, I have put it after it. I´m not saying, of course, that your suggestion is wrong, don´t get me wrong. I´m just saying I personally find my current location of "even" fine. Anyway, thank you for pointing it out.

Maybe this stack exchange question might help. It sounds weird because it is in the middle of the verb "be used". In the way you are using even in that sentence even should be before the verb that it is stressing.

Although I am aware of this capitalization phenomenon (let this forum be an example) even in some English-written newspapers, other English-written newspapers don´t use this phenomenon and so is not a wikipedia. What´s more, as far as I remember, I think I never saw this phenomenon in case of scientific (physics, to be more specific) English-written papers. Therefore, I reached a conclusion the capitalization is not a strict rule. Unless strong arguments for a capitalization are given (preferably with an explanation why it is not used in scientific papers), I am going to leave it as it is now.

Here's a quick webpage on capitalization rules.
>Capitalize references to specific figures, tables, chapters, sections, equations

I would consider those to be sections of your page.

I'm not trying to shove anything down so it's still up to you if you want to leave it as it is.

 

[bcube]

In the way you are using even in that sentence even should be before the verb that it is stressing.

A link you provided along with your previous "The current location implies that even is an adjective describing elsewhere." made me realize I actually want to be describing a word elsewhere rather than the words be used. If it makes sense in English, that would be good. If it doesn´t, I think it is still more or less obvious (using a little bit of imagination) what I am trying to express. As a result, I have put "even" to its original place.

Here's a quick webpage on capitalization rules.

I am leaving it as it is. Nevertheless, thank you for the link.

 

[bcube]

Since last time, I translated several more articles as well as 3x3x3 blindfolded solving tutorial. I also revised and edited all English text (though I bet it´s still not even near to be perfect – that´s where you come in ) and simplified English navigation (in fact, now it is the same as in Czech). Go ahead and see the English version for yourself.

As always, I would love to get some feedback so don´t be shy and criticize whatever. Answering the questions mentioned in the first post would be great, too.

 

[bcube]

A little update: since last time I translated some more articles and tutorials. If there is no more feedback from you guys I guess I will stop posting further updates (nevertheless, I plan to translate some more stuff in the future).

English homepage.

 

[FJT97]

Why do you have such Special cases in your comms examples?
I would start with easy comms before moving to Flips or aperms

 

[Douf]

---> "If it doesn't (make sense in English), I think it is still more or less obvious (using a little bit of imagination) what I am trying to express. As a result, I have put "even" to its original place.

Your writing shouldn't have to force people to use their imagination. The English is incorrect, as Gyroninja addressed.

----> "I am leaving it as it is. Nevertheless, thank you for the link."

Someone with a far superior handle of the language is making an effort to help you as you have requested, why would you dismiss the feedback you want?

-->"As long as it is not a really serious grammar error, I am fine with it."

If you're not serious about the grammar in you tutorial, then you're not serious about your tutorial. So why should anyone else be?

The above are not comments from someone I believe is ready to accept criticism. Your Speedsolving peer put in a good deal of effort to help you make your page as perfect as possible, but if you dismiss his/her feedback it defeats the entire purpose of asking for help.

In your revised English homepage I found far too many errors to begin to list, and I fear I'd end up in a debate with you, which would then frustrate me for wasting my time. You seem to have a great knowledge of the content on the page, so your page could be amazing. Don't let sloppiness/laziness compromise all the efforts you've made.

 

[bcube]

Why do you have such Special cases in your comms examples?

To show the visitor that commutators can be used for both orientation and permutation of one piece type purely.

I would start with easy comms

Like what? You see, although R U R' U' could be demonstrated, I believe the visitor wouldn´t benefit much from it. I think the best practise here is to demonstrate some *useful* commutators which can be directly used at solving. Presented commutators fit quite nicely into the context, I would say.

Your writing shouldn't have to force people to use their imagination. The English is incorrect, as Gyroninja addressed.

Point understood. There are language issues. And they will always be there (I wouldn´t be surprised if language issue are even in Czech version). The top priority is to provide a text which can be understood by English-speaking people. Could you please point me to the text-passages which are not understandable to you even if you try to understand it (with regard to the context)?

Someone with a far superior handle of the language is making an effort to help you as you have requested, why would you dismiss the feedback you want?

Just because I decided to not implement it doesn´t mean I wasn´t intensively thinking about it. It´s human nature to do bad decisions ;-)

If you're not serious about the grammar in you tutorial, then you're not serious about your tutorial. So why should anyone else be?

As long as non-native English-speaking people are not able to understand the text and its meaning (or native English-speaking people don´t understand the text and its meaning even if they try to), I am serious about the grammar and prepared to restate such troubling text.

In your revised English homepage I found far too many errors to begin to list

Wow. If true, I am quite shocked considering there are only few English sentences on English homepage. Clearly, as you can see, I basically don´t know the difference between "the" and "a" (and when not to type any of these). But if there are any other errors which you don´t understand even if you try to, could you please point them to me (excluding missing periods or badly inserted commas, 3×3×3 instead of 3x3x3 etc.)?

I fear I'd end up in a debate with you, which would then frustrate me for wasting my time.

Please be assured I consider all the opinions I get. I am grateful to the people who are making an effort to help me to improve and do it for free. After all, as the title of this thread indicates, your opinion is wanted.


Regading language issues: I am going to re-read and edit the 3x3x3 tutorial, as it was my first translated text. Unless I am aware of not-understandable text passages, I guess it will remain more or less the same. Last but not least, thank you for your perspective Douf.