Girls in forum?

[CharlieCooper]

On a very serious note, could someone please explain to me when I should call a female a girl and when I should call her a woman?
Nobody calls a 30 year old man a boy, but I often say "girl" when "woman" would maybe be more appropriate. It is not as easy as > 18 years old is it? And girlfriend is obviously something different than woman friend, but is it weird when two 60 year olds call each other boyfriend/girlfriend?

*sigh* i thought we'd been through this. remember the rules we went over?

 

[AvGalen]

Mr van Galen: paedophile?

Please don't ever say such a thing again, not even with a smilie

On a very serious note, could someone please explain to me when I should call a female a girl and when I should call her a woman?
Nobody calls a 30 year old man a boy, but I often say "girl" when "woman" would maybe be more appropriate. It is not as easy as > 18 years old is it? And girlfriend is obviously something different than woman friend, but is it weird when two 60 year olds call each other boyfriend/girlfriend?

*sigh* i thought we'd been through this. remember the rules we went over?

I keep forgetting the rules. Maybe we should simplify them to:
* Flirting is always allowed, unless any of the persons involve object
* When in a relationship, you make rules with all the persons involved
* When you break rules....... Never done that

 

[Dene]

Flirting is allowed with people so young though? I mean, you have to set a limit.

 

[AvGalen]

Flirting is allowed with people so young though? I mean, you have to set a limit.

Misa (the girl from Eriks 7.08 video) started flirting with me before Erik.
Erik, Joël and I have been flirting with 3 16 year old girls before.

Maybe you and I have a different understanding of flirting, but for me flirting is "all talk, no action" so I don't see a reason not to have some harmless fun. I know the limits much better than some of those 15 and 16 year old girls (a good reason to stop the flirting)

But just so you don't get confused and so I don't get a "player" image again:
sub 18: smalltalk
18-25: sometimes interesting, but still to young
25-30: ding ding ding
30-40: sometimes interesting, but mostly to settled
sup 40: Hi mom

 

[Erik]

Dene: hypocrit?

Anyway, like PJK and AVG say. It's better to have 1 thread that's bumped (no matter how old) than 1 closed thread and a new one imho. If it's bumped it sometimes means that it just got ON topic again instead of old.
In this case, I could personally not care less. The message of more girls on the forum is a big hooraaaay already

And the girl calling thing.
Yesterday evening I was doing a demo for about the biggest group of hotels together in the world. They had a cube challenge and I had to teach each table some tricks in 2 min per table.
So after that the host asked me on the stage, was there some talent here?
There was indeed, on the table in the middle there was a girl who was pretty good! (she must've been about 35), the host replied: you call her a girl??
My reply: oh come on, she doesn't look that old does she?

Anyway, even when 'girl' is not the right word to choose, when chosen smartly it can give some smiles on peoples faces (side note: [proud] apparently I cracked everyone up by saying that [/proud] ) More about the demo later.

Keep the girls coming to here! (it's up to you how you read this...)

 

[Dene]

But just so you don't get confused and so I don't get a "player" image again:
sub 18: smalltalk
18-25: sometimes interesting, but still to young
25-30: ding ding ding
30-40: sometimes interesting, but mostly to settled
sup 40: Hi mom

Ah, well this is much clearer. You call it flirting, but surely small talk isn't such?

Erik: I hope no one could ever call me a hypocrite.

 

[qqwref]

Mr van Galen: paedophile?

I can't expect you, someone who often points out your lack of understanding of social customs, to understand how much negative stigma is associated with this word, but what I can do is tell you to never use it (even jokingly) to describe someone you ever want to talk to again.

Anyway, technically speaking, Wikipedia says that "[a]s a medical diagnosis, it is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children." Note 'sexual preference' (i.e. a pedophile would be more attracted to small children than, say, 25-year-olds) and 'prepubescent' (which is more like under-13 than under-18). Finding a 16-year-old girl hot isn't pedophilia; consistently thinking 8-year-olds are is.

 

[Dene]

Mr van Galen: paedophile?

I can't expect you, someone who often points out your lack of understanding of social customs, to understand how much negative stigma is associated with this word, but what I can do is tell you to never use it (even jokingly) to describe someone you ever want to talk to again.

Ok first of all, it wasn't a joke at all, I was completely serious. I wasn't calling anyone anything, or describing anyone. It was in fact a question (hence the question mark).
Secondly, I needed clarification that he wouldn't actually seriously consider being with someone so young, as was possibly implied by his earlier post. I certainly wouldn't want to be around someone who was so sick-minded as a paedophile (as you probably agree with).

 

[CharlieCooper]

Erik: I hope no one could ever call me a hypocrite.

A bit like arnaud would hope that nobody could ever call him a paedophile?

 

[AvGalen]

Mr van Galen: paedophile?

I can't expect you, someone who often points out your lack of understanding of social customs, to understand how much negative stigma is associated with this word, but what I can do is tell you to never use it (even jokingly) to describe someone you ever want to talk to again.

Ok first of all, it wasn't a joke at all, I was completely serious. I wasn't calling anyone anything, or describing anyone. It was in fact a question (hence the question mark).
Secondly, I needed clarification that he wouldn't actually seriously consider being with someone so young, as was possibly implied by his earlier post. I certainly wouldn't want to be around someone who was so sick-minded as a paedophile (as you probably agree with).

Wow......................................................................................

You went from me flirting with someone to me being with someone.

If I would sleep with everyone I flrit with, do you think I would ever have time left to cube? It is really obvious that you don't know me and that you have really bad judgement of character.

 

[EmersonHerrmann]

Back to the earlier issue: why lock old threads? Why not keep them open so they can be updated? I mean, if you make it so after 3 weeks a thread is autolocked...thats like, 75% of the entire forum o_O

 

[Crazycubemom]

@ Dene,

if Arnaud would be a Pdphile, then I would never let
my son Rama driving with him to Czech Open 2007, Arnaud is an OLD brother for most cubers as far as I've seen it during competitions and out of the competitions. If you ask him some helps like stay at his place or pick you up to go to somewhere for a competition HE always help you as long as he can (most of all he is always available).

Dene, if your father is always nice and helpfull person to you and all your friends ,is he a Pdhile ?

Btw Paedophile is a crime so it is very sensitive to call someone with this word even as a joke with someone who close with you .

That's why we call Arnaud "Mr Nice Guy" van Galen"

 

[Ton]

Ok first of all, it wasn't a joke at all, I was completely serious. I wasn't calling anyone anything, or describing anyone. It was in fact a question (hence the question mark).
Secondly, I needed clarification that he wouldn't actually seriously consider being with someone so young, as was possibly implied by his earlier post. I certainly wouldn't want to be around someone who was so sick-minded as a paedophile (as you probably agree with).

@Dene

Great tip, so next time I want to insult someone , I must put the insult in a question. Good thinking
Are you studying politics?

 

[qqwref]

Ok first of all, it wasn't a joke at all, I was completely serious.

Didn't you read what I said? It doesn't matter, whether it's a joke or serious it's still an extremely serious accusation. I'm sure you wouldn't enjoy it if someone completely seriously asked "Dene, are you a rapist?" It's a very similar question because of the connotation of the word.

Secondly, I needed clarification that he wouldn't actually seriously consider being with someone so young, as was possibly implied by his earlier post. I certainly wouldn't want to be around someone who was so sick-minded as a paedophile (as you probably agree with).

Flirting doesn't automatically imply that you intend to sleep with that person. Often it's just mild flattery that makes both people feel good.
Anyway the 18-year-old barrier isn't a line where anything under it is morally despicable and everything over it is A-OK. Except in law. (Isn't age of consent 16 in most of Australia and most of Europe anyway?) I don't think of someone who would go out with a 16- or 17-year-old sick-minded, for example, but I certainly would think that of someone who tries to go out with 8-year-olds. I've looked into anthropology in the past and in a lot of non-industrialized societies pretty much everyone starts sleeping around when they reach puberty. To them, it doesn't hurt anyone, and both people are consenting, so what's the problem? Going out with young (but still postpubescent) girls might be considered wrong in our countries, but biologically it's normal: from nature's point of view, people can and should start having sex as soon as they are capable of producing children.

 

[Dene]

Gah, you all still have me wrong.
I wasn't accusing anything, I was searching for clarifitcaiton that Mr. van Galen would not actually consider going anywhere (and I don't just think you have to have sex with a child to be a paedophile) with someone way too young (and I never mentioned a specific age, qq, but anything under 14 is starting to look really dodgy).
It has now become clear to me that Mr. van Galen considers something as simple as small-talk flirting, which is different to how I would define flirting. (Where I would call talking simply talking, I would say to be flirting there would have to be "fluttering eye-lashes" and "touchy-feely" type of behaviour (not necessarily anything sexual, yet again, to make that clear)).
His original post implied that he would be prepared to flirt with anybody, and by how I would define flirting, that would soon lead to how I would define the behaviour of a paedophile.

To be honest, I don't see the problem in the word, all I see is people misinterpreting what I was trying to get at, and then thinking that the word I used to get there was way out of line (and if you expect me to apologise for that, think again. I don't see the problem, it is only a word).

Also, qq, if someone accused me of being a rapist I would laugh at them and say "I'm a virgin so..."

For the record, I don't think you actually have to have sex with someone "too young" to be a paedophile. Even the intention would be enough for me to call someone such.

Mr van Galen: you are probably right, it is very likely that I have extremely bad judgement of character (which further emphasises my separation from all things "social"). (And to clarify, by social I mean out of academic situations, and actually in person).

Ton: no, I'm studying psychology and philosophy. However I do enjoy politics. Out of interest, what exactly does politics have to do with it?

Yet again, to make clear, I wasn't insulting anyone, but if you consider it an insult, that's your problem, I don't care.

 

[Ton]

Ton: no, I'm studying psychology and philosophy. However I do enjoy politics. Out of interest, what exactly does politics have to do with it?

Ha well, you are very good in twisting words and arguments, I guess you can argue a banana straight.

 

[Dene]

Lol, I take that as a compliment, seeing as I've always had very bad language skills.
I have been getting better, since I have had to force myself to learn how to write for philosophy.
I also assume it is from philosophy that I have learnt to argue, although I don't think I've been twisting any words, my story has been straight from the start!

 

[qqwref]

and if you expect me to apologise for that, think again. I don't see the problem, it is only a word

If you don't understand that things you say can hurt others, you shouldn't be arguing at all. Besides, the entire point of apologizing is to make someone feel better if you have offended them, whether on purpose or not. It's the polite thing to do. You have the right to refuse to apologize, but everyone else also has the right to not talk to you. Your choice.

Also, qq, if someone accused me of being a rapist I would laugh at them and say "I'm a virgin so..."

Talk about missing the point... Fine, how about if someone accused you of being a serial murderer? a terrorist?

 

[AvGalen]

Let's be clear about one thing: This is the final post that will mention Dene's question. If anyone wants to continue discussing this, do so via Personal messages, not through the forum. This topic is getting way out of hand.

Dene: If you think paedophile is just a word you need to get your social skills and the rest of your brain checked and improved. I am not just saying that, I mean it. Get help, seriously. If that help asks you why you need help, just say : "Someone said I am good at twisting words and arguments. That makes me laugh out loud and I take that as a compliment"

What if I ever want to change jobs and become a teacher? A future employer googles my name in combination with a group of blacklisted words (paedophile would be on the top of that list) and actually find someone that seriously and repeatedly asks me if I am a paedophile.

I have always posted under my own name because I am carefull about what I say about myself and others in my posts. Some things just don't belong on a forum like this so I didn't post them (the exception being the pickuplines thread where it is obvious to anyone we are just having fun). Asking someone you have never met in person (or just talked to privately) a question like that in a public forum is so out-of-line that an apology should have been the very least you should have done.

Am I a very flirty person? Yes
Do I flirt with sub 18 or even sub 16 girls? Sometimes
Do I openly discuss sexually explicit things with girls I barely know? Yes
Do I know the limits of what I can and cannot do? Absolutely
Am I ever (sexually) interested in girls that are younger than 18? Not since I was 19

End of discussion

Now can we please get back on topic and have more girls announce themselves so I can say "hi" to them?

 

[Crickets]

Ooook I guess I'll be the one to get this back on topic. I wish there were more girl cubers, because it really is more of a fair sport. As in we can compete on the same level instead of for example the NBA and the WNBA or the PGA and LPGA. Maybe theres more that come to competions, idk I've never been to one.