Countless Clock Methods Forum Competition (finished after 363 days 🎉🥳🎈)

no, it's people who average 5 on clock and had a 5th-grade IQ of 134 (definitely not describing me)

I had an IQ of one million four hundred seventy thousand eight hundred and two at sixteen years and eleven months. They called me a very bright young man. I’ve never been to Lake Erie and I don’t plan to anytime soon (I am describing me).
 
I had an IQ of one million four hundred seventy thousand eight hundred and two at sixteen years and eleven months. They called me a very bright young man. I’ve never been to Lake Erie and I don’t plan to anytime soon (I am describing me).
I had an IQ of one million four hundred seventy thousand eight hundred and three at fifteen years and eleven months. They called me a very bright young man. I’ve never been out of this country and I don’t plan to anytime soon. (I am (not) describing me).
 
I had an IQ of one million four hundred seventy thousand eight hundred and three at fifteen years and eleven months. They called me a very bright young man. I’ve never been out of this country and I don’t plan to anytime soon. (I am (not) describing me).
I had an IQ of zero million zero hundred zeroty thousand zero hundred and one at zero years and zero months. They called me a very stupid young baby. I've never been to north korea but I plan to go very soon (I am describing everyone).
 
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