When does cubing start becoming a selfish endeavour?

[abunickabhi]

Warning: Personal anecdotes and opinion ahead. I understand you may disagree with a few points about this topic. I wanted to express here as I feel I should stop cubing and let the younger generation continue. It is always bearable to follow cubing and not actively pursue it. There are less sacrifices to be made.

Context and big picture:
Cubing is an ideal sport to practice for people of age 7-25? The age limit keeps getting lower and lower as cubing gets more accessible, cheaper and easier to learn. The hardware is also optimal right now, with very young kids able to turn seamlessly and at a high TPS. Cubing demands a lot of practice and me time to improve. It also involves a lot of money, time and effort as we have to buy cubes, attend comps and grind a lot in order to continuously improve.

Why I feel selfish continuing cubing in 2024:
I am 29 years old, and cubing since the age of 17 when I got my first speedcube (Dayan Zhanchi). It is incredibly difficult to continue cubing as work, life and health take a toll when I take up a competition. I face stiff resistance from parents, well-wishers and my bosses to focus more on what is important to me which is work, life and health.

I agree with them, but on the other hand I want to pursue cubing further as I am not done with it. There are still a lot of goals to achieve and just competitions to attend since I love interacting with cubers of all ages and backgrounds.

The things I have to hear and bear is too much nowadays since I am married and my work demands a lot of the hours of the week and intense focus. I still shamelessly attend comps as I have passion for cubing which is hard to give up. I also have goals in MBLD which I badly want to achieve. I do not think I can stop even after 11 years of active competing. I guess it is a psychological battle as to when I learn to let go and move on to more important things in my life. I do feel cubing is now a selfish efforts as I waste weekends not focusing on family and other aspects of life. I have also spent a lot of money on cubing buying cubes and attending 4 major international championships. Although I am sponsored, I have to spend a lot from my pocket and I can utilise this money on my family and my building my savings instead.

What is your take on this?

 

[cuberswoop]

Cubing becomes selfish the same time other hobbies do, when you put it before family, friends, and religion (if applicable). There's some instances when its ok to put cubing before friends and family I'd say, everyone needs something to take a break from everyone and everything, but if you're not spending any or enough time with those groups of people I'd say that's selfish.

I'm not exactly sure if you're being selfish from your personal experience, I've never had a typical job, been married, or had strong resistance from my family, so I can't say for sure.

 

[Bingus Ringus McDingus]

Warning: Personal anecdotes and opinion ahead. I understand you may disagree with a few points about this topic. I wanted to express here as I feel I should stop cubing and let the younger generation continue. It is always bearable to follow cubing and not actively pursue it. There are less sacrifices to be made.

Context and big picture:
Cubing is an ideal sport to practice for people of age 7-25. The age limit keeps getting lower and lower as cubing gets more accessible, cheaper and easier to learn. The hardware is also optimal right now, with very young kids able to turn seamlessly and at a high TPS. Cubing demands a lot of practice and me time to improve. It also involves a lot of money, time and effort as we have to buy cubes, attend comps and grind a lot in order to continuously improve.

Why I feel selfish while cubing in 2024:
I am 29 years old, and cubing since the age of 17 when I got my first speedcube (Dayan Zhanchi). It is incredibly difficult to continue cubing as work, life and health take a toll when I take up a competition. I face stiff resistance from parents, well-wishers and my bosses to focus more on what is important to me which is work, life and health.

I agree with them, but on the other hand I want to pursue cubing further as I am not done with it. There are still a lot of goals to achieve and just competitions to attend since I love interacting with cubers of all ages and backgrounds.

The things I have to hear and bear is too much nowadays since I am married and my work demands a lot of the hours of the week and intense focus. I still shamelessly attend comps as I have passion for cubing which is hard to give up. I also have goals in MBLD which I badly want to achieve. I do not think I can stop even after 11 years of active competing. I guess it is a psychological battle as to when I learn to let go and move on to more important things in my life. I do feel cubing is now a selfish efforts as I waste weekends not focusing on family and other aspects of life.

What is your take on this?

guys run he's on his villain arc

 

[EngineeredCube]

Honestly, if you love it you should keep doing it. Everyone has to have a hobby of some sort and cubing is good for your brain. It helps in other endeavors of your life even if its not apparent. Just make sure you put in plenty of time with your family and set goals around the things most important to you. I'm 39 and I still cube. Albeit, I don't go to comps, but that's just not my thing. Work will always be there, not saying don't do your best at it, but work is just that....work. Work/life/family balance is tough but there's also "you" in that equation as well. Its not always bad to be selfish...

 

[J41]

It's not a waste if you enjoy it.

 

[abunickabhi]

(2023CALV07)

"This is interesting. I'm in a very similar position as the op. It's hard to balance, but that's why I only get to solve part of an hour a day on my lunch break and I am not improving as fast as I would like. I also have a massive wish list on the cubing stores, but I have to prioritize money differently than 10 years ago when I got most of my collection. But my family is supportive, so that's nice. I'm pretty much not traveling for comps until world's at this point"

Ferke
"If you want to quit, I think that's a common feeling and could be worth the consideration. If you still want to pursue your blind goals, I think there's always time that can be used for that purpose. Also stepping away from being a WCA Delegate could help you being less involved in organizations and such, which also I think could degrade your mental state in some specific cases. My advice would be to find a good balance, between life and cubing. After all cubing is a hobby, and you'll need a hobby anyway no matter what, IMHO. If you can't find a balance stepping away, at least for a while, could help make things clearer"

plasmatorus
"People consider the same questions when deciding whether to retire from professional sports, for instance. It's not necessary to quit completely, but reevaluating what's important to you and how you approach the hobby is crucial
Some people continue competing but care less about results, some decide to maintain their skill in one event while dropping all others, some change their goals entirely or start organizing/delegating, and some truly stop practicing but return out of curiosity every now and then
It's not selfish to take some time at the end of the day to do whatever you want"

 

[1x1 wr holder!]

Warning: Personal anecdotes and opinion ahead. I understand you may disagree with a few points about this topic. I wanted to express here as I feel I should stop cubing and let the younger generation continue. It is always bearable to follow cubing and not actively pursue it. There are less sacrifices to be made.

Context and big picture:
Cubing is an ideal sport to practice for people of age 7-25. The age limit keeps getting lower and lower as cubing gets more accessible, cheaper and easier to learn. The hardware is also optimal right now, with very young kids able to turn seamlessly and at a high TPS. Cubing demands a lot of practice and me time to improve. It also involves a lot of money, time and effort as we have to buy cubes, attend comps and grind a lot in order to continuously improve.

Why I feel selfish while cubing in 2024:
I am 29 years old, and cubing since the age of 17 when I got my first speedcube (Dayan Zhanchi). It is incredibly difficult to continue cubing as work, life and health take a toll when I take up a competition. I face stiff resistance from parents, well-wishers and my bosses to focus more on what is important to me which is work, life and health.

I agree with them, but on the other hand I want to pursue cubing further as I am not done with it. There are still a lot of goals to achieve and just competitions to attend since I love interacting with cubers of all ages and backgrounds.

The things I have to hear and bear is too much nowadays since I am married and my work demands a lot of the hours of the week and intense focus. I still shamelessly attend comps as I have passion for cubing which is hard to give up. I also have goals in MBLD which I badly want to achieve. I do not think I can stop even after 11 years of active competing. I guess it is a psychological battle as to when I learn to let go and move on to more important things in my life. I do feel cubing is now a selfish efforts as I waste weekends not focusing on family and other aspects of life.

What is your take on this?

wow, this hit different. Portraying cubing as a really bad thing is something i don't normally try to imagine, but you paint an interesting picture.

My thoughts in regard to the general state, and you.

In life, there are two things, work and the pursuit of happiness and self-interest. work is a job, and you mentioned you have a family, and in my opinion, that is also a job. self interests represent cubing for us, and probably a few other things. In your case, Cubing seems to be a very large part of your "fun life". Ideally, someone should have a healthy balance between working and not, and it should also be noted that they can overlap when you enjoy your job and/or spend quality time with your family. Everyone should have goals that they want to pursue outside of mandatory obligations, and people around them should support it. How else are we as individuals within a community supposed to grow?

so what i'm saying is that, you don't have to throw away what you love. That will hurt you, and it doesn't have to happen. in this case, cutting back is the more reasonably option. find the right balance. from what you listed, there are three things at play here, work, family, and cubing, and I should think that it's possible to make room for all of these.

As a student right now, I've made the decision that cubing takes the back seat. I can do it when I have the time, but if not, then I need to fully focus on what i need to do first. I no longer cube every day or every weekend, I probably won't be going to a competing again until I graduate, but I haven't thrown in the towel.

you are going through a tough time, but you cannot accept defeat.
When the task seems impossible, you need to look it in the eye and make things work, because it's worth it to you.

 

[tseitsei]

Cubing is a hobby like any other hobby. When does going to the gym become selfish endeavour?

I (34 years old) have just recently got back to cubing after several year long break (I got interested in FMC) and obviously I don't have nearly as much time to practise as I used to in my early twenties. But it is a fun hobby.

Any hobby can get out of hand and become an obsession that makes you neglect your responsibilities. That is when it becomes selfish and harmful. But cubing should not be treated/evaluated differently here than any other hobby just because most people dont understand cubing or don't see it as a "serious" hobby like going to the gym or other traditional sports etc.

 

[Christopher Mowla]

Just as you put a disclaimer, I will put that this is just my opinion, but:

• If a hobby allows you to relieve stress in a way that nothing else can (due to how your mind is currently wired, due to past habits), as long as you give it the time and attention required to relieve that stress (and no more), then it's better for everyone in your life (including yourself, of course).
  • You have to love and take care of yourself before you can help/love/take care of other people.
  • But if you have to consistently use a hobby as an outlet when you have voluntarily obligated yourself to other responsibilities (for whatever reason), you have to begin to wonder if your hobby is an addiction.
  • As soon as you are "fully recharged" from your hobby, if there are people around you who are relying on you for, and you neglect them, that's when it becomes selfish.
    • But the "catch" is, it's only selfish if they aren't being selfishby "demanding" your attention as often as they do.
      • I personally can't understand how work is "negotiable" here... I'm talking about family and friends.
      • And if you live with selfish people who will threaten to cut the relationship with you (or retaliate) if you don't give them the attention they demand, then that's not "negotiable" either... if you want to keep them in your life (or at least keep your relationship civil).

 

[stoic]

Not sure if this helps or not, and I don't have a good sense of what is or isn't selfish here, but I heard someone say once that you can have two of the following three things:

1. Family life (significant other and kids);
2. Work life (particularly if you run your own business or are otherwise ambitious to progress at work/career);
3. Social life (given the amount of time you suggest you dedicate to cubing, and your significant ambitions this likely qualifies);

...but you can't have all three.

I've generally found it to be true.

I think I recall you saying you're recently married, and although you don't mention her at all in the OP, I'm reading between the lines that your wife has some strong opinion on this. (Forgive me for the presumption.) In the future, if you're fortunate enough to be blessed with kids your life is going to change again beyond all recognition. (For the better, I might add!)

I don't have any big ambitions like yourself for my cubing, but I can tell you that there were ten years between my first and second comp while I concentrated on 1 and 2 for a season or two in my life.

Best wishes, and I hope you manage to figure out a balance.

 

[abunickabhi]

Der Der
"I disagree, selfishness is the excessive or exclusive concern for your own advantage, taking time for yourself is healthy, and if anything not devoting time to yourself is careless and completely lacking in self awareness and care"

Wallstreet
"A hobby is not selfish. Hobbies are essential parts of leading a healthy life, if you don’t have hobbies, you either dedicate your life to something unhealthy or nothing at all"

plasmatorus
"Too often, we let the world dictate what we should do with our lives. Yes it is important to do good work for your employer, care for your family, support your local community, and more, but you can only help others when you are in a position of strength and stability. This includes knowledge of your own purpose in life, priorities, and moral values. If you help everyone else first and don't take care of yourself (calling that selfish), you will be tossed around by society's demands and not be able to live how you want. For example, if you find it more rewarding to spend time with your family over the weekend than to attend more cubing competitions, make that decision confidently and don't look back or feel guilty
If cubing is still important to you, think about why that is and whether you can make a compromise which satisfies your cubing goals without sacrificing the most important aspects of your family life. "